fired by anger

 

the new theme for Maker membership is Elements and Emotions - the list left me feeling a little blank until the prompts pointed towards the way these link to emotions and fire struck me as a driving force, one which has frequently been lit in me but not always allowed to really burn 

i remember feeling anger from my early childhood, anger at injustice and unfairness - i was often being told “soit raisonable” which felt like a bucket of water being tipped on my head,  and responding “c’est pas juste!” often with tears of frustration - anger and frustration seem to have been a regular feature throughout my life: a blazing emotion or idea doused by the cold water of reason

but, unlike many women, I have tended to express my anger verbally - unfortunately it has taken me most of my lifetime to understand how uncomfortable that makes others feel - others seem to feel my anger is aimed at them and I have never understood why as i is usually about a situation not their actions - listening to a radio programme on anger, particularly in women, helped me to understand that most people see expressions of anger as aggressive and threatening and learn to repress or suppress it (i clearly resisted that lesson), but in women it then tends to be expressed as depression, anxiety or in other (to my mind) psychologically unhealthy ways 

however, although expressing anger verbally may release some of my feelings it does not change anything -  so i feel that i need to find a way to use my anger to fuel creativity, better still creativity with a message 

a recent discussion with creative friends about how current events have been influencing our moods, feelings and creativity led to an agreement that sharing was a positive way to help process these emotions and how the sharing of creativity could be soothing and life enhancing - positive thoughts which inspired ideas

i thought back to a book on Craftivism by Sarah Corbett, she suggested making handkerchieves bearing a message and giving them to people with influence, to draw attention to an issue - a quiet and personal way to plant ideas and prompt responses - as someone who uses real hankies that resonated with me and at last i had an opportunity to try it

two themes emerged from the many for me to address - firstly on a personal level, since being affected by a heart condition i have become more aware of and frustrated by the gender bias in heart health care - secondly  and more universally, i am regularly angered by the way sheer greed and the thirst for power wreck so much from individual lives to whole countries 

unfortunately, for this first anger management project i have needed to break with my usual reclaiming and repurposing of materials and i have bought a themed fabric specifically to use in making handkerchiefs on which i will print short graphic messages connected to my themes - for theme 1 i designed a simple graphic of Women’s Hearts Are Equal to Men’s Hearts- for theme 2 i have sourced a hanko (japanese “signature” stamp/logo) of Spread Care 

the hankies will be printed with one of these logos and distributed or gifted (possibly with a short explanatory text) - the chosen fabric is Liberty lawn from the Creativity in Containment and Conflict collection, in two designs